Gaycork Writing Competition - Deadline February 18th

[admin]

Hi all,

The first GayCork.com competiton, is a writing one....

All you have to do is post (or pm to me) a:-

* short story of the likes
* a poem
* or some prose

Written by yourself of course!

Prize will be a €50 voucher for a shop of your choice..

Closing date: 18th Febraury 2005
Winner will be announced 1st March 2005!

RULE: You must be a member of this forum to take part

[admin]

bump! [:-D]

[Slayer]

did you get my entry?

[admin]

did indeed sweety [;-)]

[admin]

more bumps! [:-B]

[007]

Whens the closing date [:-?]

[admin]

Closing date: 18th Febraury 2005
Winner will be announced 1st March 2005!

[Daffy]

Night Sparkle
As i look out the window at night
I see crystal stars
One stands out from the rest

As i look out at the stand still night
I stare till my eyes drop there eye lids
As they shut thoughts of the day vanish

As i look out the window in the morning
I look out and see the stars are no more
but as i turn and see your eyes i see
the sparkle stars again!!!!

[Swimmy]

Is this for next or last Christmas? [:-O ]

[redbulljunkie]

Last christmas. Deadline is next week sometime I think.

[Swimmy]

A load of Spawn!

There was a little frog called Swimmy,
who dated a toad called Jimmy.
They met for a date at a quarter past eight
and shared a large bug on a lilly.

Now Jimmy was rather silly,
and tried to kiss little Swimmy.
Before Jimmy could croak,
Swimmy disappeared into smoke and
Jimmy was left with his Willy (his mate).

Now Willy was dating Billy,
a bull frog who fancied Swimmy,
but he was out of his depth and decided instead
to bitch with his mates about Swimmy.

But Swimmy was hurt by Billy,
whose comments and lies were just crazy.
So he decided instead to eat off Billy's head
and now he's married to Willy.

So to end this poem about Swimmy,
I'd like to say one thing really,
Please vote for me as I need the money,
otherwise I will end up stir crazy.


by Swimmy.

(very challenged I know!)

[admin]

there's actually a bug and I can't change the thread titles at moment

time to upgrade to the latest version of vbulletin me thinks...

[Daffy]

oh my god [:-O ]
i have just realised the closing date for competition is on my birthday [:-((]
so admin can i win the prize to buy a few nice clothes for myself go on plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz [:-(] wont u like to give back something to the community go on!! u know u want to [B-)]

[admin]

lol [:-))] awww

Well there will be more competitions and give aways in the next few months!

stay tuned!

[Daffy]

but i want my prize NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [;-)]

[admin]

And the winner is:

It's Christmastime,
there's no need to feel guilty
At Christmastime,
we eat the EU food mountain
And in our world of plenty
we can spread a smile of joy
Throw your arms around your waist
at Christmastime

But say a prayer,
pray to Jesus Christ
Because at Christmastime,
when you're having fun
There's your car outside the pub door
And your home is far away
Where the only water flowing
is the bitter and the beer
And the fence that you crash into
sends a spike right through your brain
Well tonight heaven's door opens to you

And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmastime
The greatest gift they'll get this year is a goat
Where turkeys do not die
No cream over mince pies
Do they know it's Christmastime at all?

Here's to you raise a glass for everyone
Here's to Muslims and those Jews
Do they know it's Christmastime at all?

Feed them turkey
Let them know it's Christmastime
Feed them mince pies
Let them know it's Christmas time

Which was submitted by redbulljunkie

[=D(] [=D(] [=D(]

[redbulljunkie]

FIX!!

I mean thank you [:-)].

Anyone know the best place to get a voucher for? Preferably somewhere with nice clothes.

This was my second entry, might as well post it here too:

Why Santa's Dead

Shortly before he died, Santa looked back over the years and wondered how it all went so wrong.

It all began when children's tastes for presents changed. Those children from Dublin wanted a new toy called heroin this year. Being the concientuous sort, Santa obliged and tested it on the elves to make sure it was alright. Santa always tested the quality of his toys before giving them to children. Those flashbacks wouldn't let him forget the memory of the toy without the "CE" mark. But when the elves started getting sick and stealing the children's new toys, Santa banished the naughty elves to the South Pole where they met an exiled Hitler, Stalin and Mussolini, created a composite friendlier image for them in the form of Walt Disney and history was born.

Santa didn't know how to explain the situation to Mary Claus. She was grouchy enough already from when she left her Bacardi&Coke out in the ice to cool and a polar bear drank it.

"Santa?" she called from downstairs.
"Yes dear?" said Santa.
"I told you to leave the suit alone, I'd sew it for you when I got back".
"But I didn't try to sew the suit dear."
"Then why are there needles everywhere? And why haven't you been out for exercise yet? Why can't you be more like the elves? They've lost loads of weight these past few weeks".

Oh why couldn't those Dublin children be like the Cork children and simply order packs of fags? Santa wasn't sure what they meant by "fags" but when he looked at pictures of the Cork children is his book of "Naughty & Nice: Erotic imagery for whatever your mood" he could see they wanted the "Queer Eye for the Straight Wan" team and sent them down pronto.

"They were wearing couch throwovers" he had lamented to Mrs. Claus. "It was like when you had your addiction to Bacardi Breezers scare and you took all the covers off the couches and called them ponchos. It was like that but everywhere".
"Please don't talk about that period in my life" said Mrs. Claus in scorn. For Santa's business had become highly successful and she was new money now. Now she only wore Gucci tracksuits like Britney Spears.

"Mrs. Claus, I need to tell you something. The elves, they're gone. We're screwed".
"That's okay dear. We can have more".

You see, Mrs. Claus had been pregnant many times since hitting puberty. Due to an abundance of alcohol and cigarettes consumed during her pregnancies, her resultant offspring were born deformed and suffering from stunted growth. And like any good snow trash mother, she set them to work in the sweatshops (or "Santa's magical North Pole Toy Factory" as they were called) as soon as they were 3 years old. 25 children later at the age of 31, she decided to call it a day and have her tubes tied. If the children wanted more workers to meet the demand, well they could just breed amongst themselves. Now that the elves were gone, she could simply have her tubes untied when she travelled south to have her vaginal lift.

So all was looking well until Mrs. Claus called into the cinema on her way back from her surgery to watch "The Lion King". Surprisingly it was a brilliant film. You see the audience had completely missed the point of Scar being the hero(this is evil Disney after all) and the film having a sad ending with his death, and so it was an accidental triumph. Disney themselves didn't realise this and so every one of their subsequent films was shit. As for Mrs. Claus, the film taught her the true meaning of family and she travelled further south to reunite with her offspring.

As for Santa, he died alone in the North Pole. But it wasn't a total unhappy ending. When the corn flakes ran out, he turned to the reindeer for food. Thanks to Atkins plan and reindeer meat he died a thin man. So you see kids, even the story of how Santa died has a happy ending. And without Santa you can now have better presents than your friends with poor parents. Night night kids :)