Quotations - Random & Not Necessarily Relevant

[KTS]

Thought it might be fun to have a topic to post some favourite/funny/whatever quotes. Make sure you check out the link at the bottom too, it's cool.

"I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens." - Woody Allen

"Movies don't create psychos. They make pyschos more creative!" - Movie "Scream" (1996), Screenplay by Kevin Williamson

"One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other." - Jane Austen

"A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her." - Oscar Wilde

http//www.quotationspage.com

[Disco_Kev]

"At the moment it's just a Notion, but with a bit of backing I think I could turn it into a Concept, and then an Idea." - Woody Allen

[markinmanc]

god is dead - neitzche

neitzche is dead - god

[KTS]

quoteOriginally posted by markinmanc
god is dead - neitzche

neitzche is dead - god


nice one [)] haven't heard it b4

[Bootyzilla]

'My mother always taught me it's polite to say something good about the dead, so here goes
Joan Crawford.
She's dead.
Good. '.

- Bette Davis, 1977, on hearing of the untimely death of her arch-rival, Miss J.C.

[KTS]

Here's some of my latest favourite quotes, was going to add them all to my signature but realised it made it far too long!

"Life is all in perception...Do you see what I see?" - D.W.

"A truth that's told with bad intent, Beats all the lies you can invent." - William Blake (1757 - 1827)

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." - Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900), Lady Windermere's Fan, 1892, Act III

"There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you're busy interrupting." - Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)

"The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues." -
Elizabeth Taylor (1932 -)

[Karma_Slave]

markinmanc thats a great one I study neitzche but id forgotten that one.

[NuMarvel]

"There comes a time 'tween life and death, when all men stop to catch their breath.

They ask the stars "Why?", they question their lot, and the Heavens open wide and reply.... Why Not?" X-Men # 9

[Slayer]

"Nothing says thank you like dollars in the waistband"

[northsider]

"i'm not usually a praying man but if your up there please save me superman"- Homer Simpson

[Karma_Slave]

ok yes its andromeda again but I love this quote.

"If we fall this day let them say this above our pyres,
They died like High Guard Lancers,
Their faces to the fire."

or then theres

Tyr throws plasma grenade killing ten opponents,
Tyr Well I would say we could let god sort them out, but somone told me he's dead

Dylan That Neitzche what a kidder.

or start trek

Worf I am not a merry man!

[Slayer]

"Many who are dead deserve life, can you give it to them?"

Gandalf, LOTR.


"You people don't celebrate your faith, you mourn it"

Serendipity, Dogma.

[bi4fship]

For Booty.

Quote from the Golden Girls:

Sophia: For starters, Jean [Dorothy's visiting friend] is a lesbian. Blanche: Oh. Dorothy: You're not surprised. Blanche: Not really. I've never known any personally, but, isn't Danny Thomas (http://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Danny_Thomas&action=edit) one? Dorothy: Not Lebanese, Blanche. Lesbian.

Laughed my ass off.

[Bootyzilla]

"If I ever get off this sofa, I will be unstoppable! ".
- Roseanne, Roseanne

[louislestat]

'Never eat more than you can lift' ....Miss Piggy

'She speaks properly but she can't act for shit'.....Bette Davis speaking on Joan Collins

'Dumb is knowing nothing,ditzy is having the courage to ask'.....Jessica Simpson

One of my all time favourites, this one breaks my heart

'I'm not interested in money I just want to be wonderful'.....Marilyn Monroe

[louislestat]

I came across another classic from Joan Collins. At a recent press conferenece she was asked by a reporter about her arch enemy 'What is the difference between you and Linda Evans?'

Here is her reply:

"I have three lovely houses in London, New York and the south of France, I'm happily married to a great guy, I have three wonderful children and three gorgeous grandkids; Linda lives in Seattle with lots of horses."

Tee hee so bitchy but so true.

(Linda's stage debut was supposidly a nightmare and she was very difficult to work with on thier recent tour)
I never bought that holier than thou visage. At least with Joan you know where you stand. Vive la Collins!!

[nutty tart]

Mae West has some fab quotes. My favourite's

'To sin is human, but it feels devine'

[nutty tart]

Me not spellin or spokein proper this evening. Apologies.

[Bootyzilla]

In the beginning, God created Joan Crawford. She said many things, but my favourite of all time is perhaps this little slice of culinary wisdom:

"I always made extra sauce so that the meat or chicken or seafood was completely covered when it was frozen... ...things should always be a little undercooked because they'll cook a bit more in the thawing and warming-up process. ".

My Way Of Life, pub. Simon & Schuster, 1971, New York. Pp. 36.

See? If only Joan had employed her Poison-First-Ask-Questions-Later routine earlier on in her life, there'd have been no need at all for wire hangers.

[joeohara]

I almost died laughing when i heard this one....

I'd rather be onstage with a pig - a duet with Jennifer Lopez and me just ain't going to happen.
Mariah Carey

[louislestat]

I almost died laughing when i heard this one....

I'd rather be onstage with a pig - a duet with Jennifer Lopez and me just ain't going to happen.
Mariah Carey

Lucky Jennifer who wants to sing with Mariah Scarey8-}she's an idiot

[joeohara]

Lucky Jennifer who wants to sing with Mariah Scarey8-}she's an idiot

I am just hoping that someday she will have a child that will end up writing a book about her.

[chatelaine]

"Good looks are a curse, Deirdre, you and Ken should count yourselves lucky"

Blanche Hunt (Coronation Street)

[bi4fship]

"Good looks are a curse, Deirdre, you and Ken should count yourselves lucky"

Blanche Hunt (Coronation Street)

Oh that woman is priceless. I love her.

I've a couple more anyhow.

"As my dear, departed friend Lotus Weinstock used to say, 'I used to want to change the world. Now I just want to leave the room with a little dignity.'" - Justin Bond, Shortbus.


"I don't mean to be rude-"
"-Yet accidental rudeness occurs alarmingly often. Best say nothing at all, my good man." - Albus Dumbledore to Vernon Dursley, HPATHBP.


Wes Ramsey: I'm guilty... and I'll burn for it.

Jaqueline Bisset: Funny thing about guilt... there is nothing so bad that you can't add a little guilt to it and make it worse and there is nothing so good you can't add a little guilt to it and make it better. - Latter days

[triton201]

Golden Girls:
When Dorothy was striding off to her daughter's wedding, having to suffer through being with her ex-husband...

Rose: We'd better keep an eye on her.
Blanche: You're right. We'd better stick to her like a tight shirt on a sweaty farmhand...you know the type... with the big biceps... and the hairy chest, just glistening in the hot sun..... I'm sorry, what were we talking about?

[Invincible]

Golden Girls:
When Dorothy was striding off to her daughter's wedding, having to suffer through being with her ex-husband...

Rose: We'd better keep an eye on her.
Blanche: You're right. We'd better stick to her like a tight shirt on a sweaty farmhand...you know the type... with the big biceps... and the hairy chest, just glistening in the hot sun..... I'm sorry, what were we talking about?

Lmao!!!

Oh The Golden Girls, the source of endless comedy gold.

PS, what a great resurrection! This thread is mighty!

[triton201]

I'm just after finishing Season 1. I've 1 to 4, and watched them before.
And I can watch them again and again. They're a scream.

It is hard to be such a devastatingly beautiful woman.....Blanche.


Notting Hill: I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.
Always brings a tear to my eye.


Discworld: Gods love an atheist...it gives them something to aim at.

Scrubs (Ted): I am rubber, you are glue. Boing, Fwip!

First sign of madness...talking to God.
Second sign of madness...God talking back.
(Can't remember where that one comes from.)

Batman Forever (Robin): Holey rusted metal Batman!

[Smurfy]

a quote for all the guys

"is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"

[seanisbored]

This is neither here nor there but the TV edit of 'Snakes on a Plane' changes the line 'I had it with these motherfucking snakes on my motherfucking plane' to "I had it with these monkey fighting snakes on this Monday to Friday plane"

Try saying it a few times, always makes me feel better.

z4t6zNZ-b0A

[louislestat]

For The Golden Girls fans

Blanche: (looking out the window) Oh how I do love the rain, it reminds me of my first kiss
Dorothy: Awwww your first kiss was in the rain?
Blanche: No it was in the shower

[PhonyMcRingRing]

"I could crush him like an ant. But it would be too easy. No, revenge is a dish best served cold. I'll bide my time until ... Oh, what the hell. I'll just crush him like an ant."

C. Montgomery Burns

[triton201]

As Forrest Gump's mother would say:
"Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get."


As my sister said in reply after someone said that to her:
"Why don't you just look at the little guide that comes with the box? That way you won't be surprised by the coffee one. Honestly, some people!! Tsk!"

[louislestat]

The ones you hug have the best position to stab you in the back

[Cinaed]

All from Into the Woods:

The prettier the flower, the farther from the path.

Sometimes the things you most wish for are not to be touched.

You may know what you need, but to get what you want, better see that you keep what you have.

Every knot was once straight rope.

And you think of all of the things you've seen
And you wish that you could live in between
And you're back again, only different than before

[triton201]

"Now you listen to me, he's not the messiah. He's a very naughty boy. Now go away!"

[PhonyMcRingRing]

As Forrest Gump's mother would say:
"Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get."


As my sister said in reply after someone said that to her:
"Why don't you just look at the little guide that comes with the box? That way you won't be surprised by the coffee one. Honestly, some people!! Tsk!"

I like my friend Ben's version of that quote:

"Life is like a box of chocolates - it's shit for diabetics" [:-))]

[triton201]

I was tempted to write a few of these down, but it's shorter to just post the video.
As is, typing them certainly lacked a little je ne sais quoi.

2vecYnbyFIw

Can't even pick a favourite one.
But knowing what the last one is about is what made Karen for me.

[Irishmaestro]

Here's a few of my favourite quotes. I put them up on my Facebook a while ago. =)

"I was going, but Hyacinth keeps popping out every thirty seconds, like a demented cuckoo clock." ~ Keeping Up Appearances

"I don't need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me." ~ Stephen Fry

"Stewie: Hey, here's a merry idea: ever read the Bible? Leviticus 18:22.
Brian: Stewie, you're judgementally quoting Bible verses, yet you can't even read!
Stewie: Welcome to America, Brian. " ~ Family Guy

"Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months." ~ Oscar Wilde

[triton201]

Randomly came across some quotes from the legend that is Jack O'Neill of SG1...and all I could think of with this one was "Invincible should love this one!"

"Stargate SG-1: The Other Guys (#6.8)" (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0709195/) (2002)

Her'ak (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1027678/): No matter what you have endured, you have never experienced the likes of what Anubis is capable of.
Colonel Jack O'Neill (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000760/): You ended a sentence with a preposition, bastard!


ovLS9mEA7IM
about 20seconds in.

[triton201]

"It's like that old Scandinavian saying:
You can lead a herring to water...
but you have to walk really fast or he'll die." ...............Rose Nylund

[kingkong]

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the number of moments that take our breath away...[@};-]

[Ros_boi]

“Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most”
Mark Twain

[curley]

I saw the movie, 'Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon' and I was surprised because I didn't see any tigers or dragons. And then I realised why: they're crouching and hidden. Steve Martin

If Harry Potter's so magical, why cant he cure his own eyesight and get laid. A teenage lad shouldn't need a broomstick to cling onto. Frankie Boyle

And for the teachers out there:
Those who can do, those who can't teach. GB Shaw[:-P]

[triton201]

And for the teachers out there:
Those who can do, those who can't teach. GB Shaw[:-P]
GB Shaw...why was he so very bitter.
If he ever spent any time on the other side of that desk he wouldn't be anywhere near as witty.
Ever tried teaching something ya can't do yourself?


"Be nice to your children, for they will choose your rest home"
Phyllis Diller

'A man did this to me, Oprah'
..on a t-shirt worn by a pregnant woman.

'Fabricati Diem, Pvnc'...motto of Ankh Morpork City Watch.

[liketheroman]

"He who wields the dagger never wears the crown" Michael Heseltine.

[Hay-ch]

"He who wields the dagger never wears the crown" Michael Heseltine.

I love that line, it seems so weighty for a "modern" soundbite, it also makes Hesiltine a Brutus like figure. (Of course brutus certainly would not have said crown) Shakespeare couldn't have done better.

That is until you Google the guy and see he is worth over 200 million pounds.

forget about using a dagger to get one, go out and buy one.

my father:

"Exams only prove that you know 40 percent of what you should know"


skanger in dublin while giving the finger

"roday roday"

skangers parents

"it is ro-tate, r-otate"

[Irishmaestro]

One of the people I most admire is Archbishop Desmond Tutu (in case my numerous references to him haven't copped people on to that by now [:-P]). He has devoted his life to fighting intolerance, hatred and injustice in the world, and his faith gives people great hope. He's an example of what humanity ought to be like - forthright, open-minded and loving. He's said a number of things about homophobia over the years that are completely enlightening. It's especially wonderful to hear these things coming from a Christian leader, and a man who is now 79.

Tutu officially retired from public life earlier this month. He's been an inspiration to me and to so many others. Let's hope that other people can follow his example.

Here's some of my favourite quotes by the Archbishop on homophobia and gay rights:

"We struggled against apartheid because we were being blamed and made to suffer for something we could do nothing about. It is the same with homosexuality. The orientation is a given, not a matter of choice. It would be crazy for someone to choose to be gay, given the homophobia that is present."

"Churches say that the expression of love in a heterosexual monogamous relationship includes the physical, the touching, embracing, kissing, the genital act - the totality of our love makes each of us grow to become increasingly godlike and compassionate. If this is so for the heterosexual, what earthly reason have we to say that it is not the case with the homosexual?"

"A parent who brings up a child to be a racist damages that child, damages the community in which they live, damages our hopes for a better world. A parent who teaches a child that there is only one sexual orientation and that anything else is evil denies our humanity and their own too."

"Gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered people are part of so many families. They are part of the human family. They are part of God's family. And of course they are part of the African family."

"To penalise someone because of their sexual orientation is like what used to happen to us; to be penalised for something about which we could do nothing - our ethnicity, our race. I would find it quite unacceptable to condemn & persecute a minority that has already been persecuted."

PS: For those interested, there's an essay by the Archbishop on Gay Rights in Africa which can be read here (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/03/11/AR2010031103341.html).

[triton201]

Never argue with a fool: onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
...usually attributed to Mark Twain.

[Liamerick]

In the notorious words of Winston Churchill:

"Bessie Braddock: “Sir, you are drunk.”
Churchill: “Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober.

[jimjam]

"I'm not afraid of dying I just don't want to be there when it happens". (http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/s/spikemilli383917.html)
Spike Milligan.

[jimjam]

A few from Mark Twain.

"All generalizations are false, including this one".

"Denial ain't just a river in Egypt".

"Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please".

[louislestat]

'Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others'
Groucho Marx

[liketheroman]

"You know you've made it big when you're not in the habit of repeating yourself."

"I'll Never Get Out of This World Alive!"

[Irishmaestro]

"Think not the bigotry of another is any excuse for your own. [...] It is not your part to return evil for evil. Another’s not observing the direction of our Lord, is no reason why you should neglect it. Nay, but let him have all the bigotry to himself." John Wesley (1703-1791) I've been reading some of John Wesley's Sermons lately, and he strikes me as a very forward-thinking man. He advocates something not entirely dissimilar to the present-day ecumenism, as well as a whole host of other things. I have a lot of time for him as a theologian.

Here's another quote from his Sermons:

Though we cannot think alike, may we not love alike? May we not be of one heart, though we are not of one opinion? Without all doubt, we may. Herein all the children of God may unite, notwithstanding these smaller differences.

[triton201]

Any fool can be honest, for it is only what he knows. A wise man is aware of when to share the truth.

[kingkong]

The best success is the next success.' Domenico Dolce


She's Madonna. She's one name, one history. She's very strong.'
Domenico Dolce, Tim Blank Interview for Interview Magazine

and my fav

'The worst times can be the best if you think with positive energy.' Domenico Dolce,

[crazymonkey]

Domenico Dolce sounds like a tit.

[triton201]

"If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning."
Kinn Hamilton McIntosh

[LittleTimmy]

"If it is not obvious how one random quotes thread differs from another then yours is the Kingdom of Heaven" - Littilus Timicus

[triton201]

"I'm like a corkscrew....look straight out from a distance, and completely twisted close up!"

Triton201

(Just 'cos I'm damned if someone else is gonna pretend they came up with it. [:-)'] hehehe)

[triton201]

Why do people say "grow some balls"? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you really want to get tough, grow a vagina. Those things take a pounding!

- Betty White

[kingkong]

rain

[kingkong]

‎"Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit." Khalil Gibran

http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Khalil_Gibran

[admin]

‎"The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity and an understanding of life that fills them with compassions, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen."

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
http://www.ekrfoundation.org/quotes

[louislestat]

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
http://www.ekrfoundation.org/quotes

That quote reminds me of Dame Elizabeth Taylor XXXXXXXXXXXXX

HLpZP0K6AV8&feature=relmfu

[kingkong]

it matters not who you love, where you love, why you love, when you love or how you love, it only matter that you love.-John Lennon

[admin]

What you don't see with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. ~Jewish Proverb

[twoleggedfrog]

What you don't see with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. ~Jewish Proverb

I knew glory holes were not kosher.

[triton201]

“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!”

“I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person.”

“I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.”
― Audrey Hepburn (http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/692403.Audrey_Hepburn)

[kingkong]

‎"He does dress better than I do, what would I bring to the relationship?" Cher Horowitz , from the film Clueless .....giggle

[Irishmaestro]

‘There lie the woods of Lothlórien!’ said Legolas. ‘That is the fairest of all the dwellings of my people. There are no trees like the trees of that land. For in the autumn their leaves fall not, but turn to gold. Not till the spring comes and the new green opens do they fall, and then the boughs are laden with yellow flowers; and the floor of the wood is golden, and golden is the roof, and its pillars are of silver, for the bark of the trees is smooth and grey. So still our songs in Mirkwood say. My heart would be glad if I were beneath the eaves of that wood, and it were springtime!’
(J.R.R. Tolkien: The Lord of the Rings, Book Two, Chapter VI: Lothlórien)

I've had that passage stuck in my head for weeks now. The whole chapter is full of the most beautiful descriptions; it's so inspiring! ^__^

[triton201]

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have."

[kingkong]

"There's one indulgence every man should try in his lifetime: If you're straight, sleep with a man at least once, and if you're gay, don't go through life without sleeping with a woman.

Either way, you might be surprised at how natural it will feel if you can get past the mind-fuck of stereotypes. In the end, it's just another person that you are relating to in a physical way."

Tom Ford, Fashion Designer and Film Director (1961-Present)