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How important is sex when it comes to love?

Discussion in 'Life Is An Odyssey' started by Stupid Cupid, Apr 30, 2010.

  1. Stupid Cupid

    Stupid Cupid Gold Star Gay

    The advice column in this month's GCN had someone asking what to do about his relationship. He is engaged to his partner, and madly loves him, but rarely has sex with him ('once a month at best'). He is cheating on his partner with someone who he has no real interest in on any level, but has great sex with.

    That got me thinking. If you loved someone - truly loved someone - could you do without sex if it wasn't there. Or, like that man, would you still need some from time to time?

    Before people start talking about cheating on someone, this thread is not about cheating, it is about how important a factor sex plays. Could you do without sex if you loved someone? Would you break up with someone if the sex life didn't meet your needs?
  2. fair_bad

    fair_bad Well-Known Member

    I honestly think love involves attraction... And therefore sex... Otherwise you might as well be 'in love' with your mother
    1 person likes this.
  3. falcon

    falcon The Lord Regent

    There is thorough debate of the topic here

    Its funny but I dont think I could..sex for me in a relationship is the most personal and private way I can show my love
  4. Stupid Cupid

    Stupid Cupid Gold Star Gay

    I think all relationships involve sacrifices, especially if you are truly in love. So if I was in that situation, I would probably try to accept the fact that I wont have as much sex as I would like, but I would also make it clear to my partner that he needs get physical a bit more often than he currently is.

    Saying that, I really don't know how I would handle this situation until it happens to me, so the reality could end up very different to what I envisage.
  5. cookie112

    cookie112 New Member

    i have to say i agreewith fair bad here. i think love does involve attraction and no i dont think i could stay with someone without having sex. i think it is an important factor (not THE most important factor but important none the less) in a relationship.
  6. falcon

    falcon The Lord Regent

    If someone loved you, they would have sex even if they didnt want to if they knew it would make you happy


    Im not saying thats right...but If I didnt like sex and my love did..thats what I would do
  7. Stupid Cupid

    Stupid Cupid Gold Star Gay

    I never spotted that before. Thanks
  8. Irishmaestro

    Irishmaestro Walking contradiction

    I honestly, really don't know, as I've never really been in a proper relationship. But, I'd imagine that love (actual love, I'm not talking about a short-term thing here) is strong enough to keep two people together. And if a couple's having difficulties with sex, then they ought either to discuss it or to see someone about it. Cheating on someone isn't good.

    Meh, that's just my (admittedly inexperienced) view on the matter.
  9. max_baby

    max_baby Fabliss and drunk

    What's sex ?
  10. Codders

    Codders Scooby Doo

    ROFL. :D


    Sex is important, but not the most important thing in a relationship.
    That's why I'm so not into relationships :p, or maybe I'm scared of them.. o_O
  11. Mr_Evil_Piney

    Mr_Evil_Piney New Member

    By that same logic, if someone loved you, could they not abstain from sex? I'm just playing devil's advocate here as the issue is more complex than that. Most relationships have a more active sex life but if neither is willing to compromise then they won't get anywhere. There has to be a mutual understanding, a bit of give and take if they're going to get through this. In this scenario, (cheating aside) I'd recommend they talk to one another about the issue. They're clearly hiding many secrets from each other and that's no basis for a relationship.
  12. max_baby

    max_baby Fabliss and drunk

    Guy: I love you
    Me: I love you too
    Guy: I'm celibate
    Me: I think we should see other people
    1 person likes this.
  13. Goldmine

    Goldmine New Member

    Hell no!! Then again i'm not into sexually monogamous relationships anyway so maybe i'm a bad judge.. But.. maybe it could work for that couple if they figured out a way for the guy missing out to get physical action elsewhere.. once a month doesn't sound like a healthy relationship. The other one needs to seek help to improve his sex drive, it can't just be the guy who wants more who has to make the sacrifices
  14. EugeneOnegin

    EugeneOnegin New Member

    It's reallly a question of the particular dynamics of the relationship.
    Yes sex is an instrinic part of modern relationship and, in fact, sex forms a great premise of the relationships of gay men.

    But considring things, sex doesn't neccessarily categorically define a relationship, nor should a relationship define sex. One can have a relationship and abstain from sex if they so wish, it's still a relationship.

    Personally, I don't see the fun in that but that's just me :D:D
  15. Mr_Evil_Piney

    Mr_Evil_Piney New Member

    Oh EugeneOnegin I've missed you! i haven't seen you in so long!

    Is it because I'm not putting out any more? *shrill cry*
  16. EugeneOnegin

    EugeneOnegin New Member


    Yes Evil Piney! I haven't been getting what I deserved so I went elsewhere just like the guy in the SC post!
  17. Mr_Evil_Piney

    Mr_Evil_Piney New Member

    I have no idea what SC stands for. My differential so far includes;
    1. schwann cell
    2. sclerosing cholangitis
    3. secretory component
    4. serum creatinine
    5. sex chromatin
    6. sickle cell
    7. sieving coefficient
    8. sigmoid colon
    9. slow component
    10. Society for Cryobiology
    11. sodium citrate
    12. spinal canal
    13. spinal cord
    14. Spindle cell
    15. squamous carcinoma
    16. Start Conversion
    17. Stepped Care
    18. stratum corneum
    19. subcutaneous
    20. superior colliculus
    21. supraclavicular
    22. suspension concentrate
    23. Saccharomyces cerevisiae
    1 person likes this.
  18. amnesiac

    amnesiac It gets better

    When you love someone, you compromise when it comes to sex. Not everyone has the same sex drive but there is so much to life than sex.
  19. PeterMcK

    PeterMcK La filette revolutionaire

    Oh Lorda mercy. Once a month? No, seriously, a month?

    Now, come on, what on earth is that about?

    I think, however much you might think you're in love with someone, once they start saying 'Oh, that was nice, see you again in June'... let's not beat about the bush, it's over. No, really it is. Well, not if there are pressing physical handicaps or mutually-agreed-upon religions qualms, but otherwise... no, that's that. Really it is. Stop chasing it.
    3 people like this.
  20. existo solvo

    existo solvo is not the Messiah,he's a very naughty boy.

    rep!!!i nearly pissed myself reading that lol!
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