Is there REALLY someone out there for everyone?

I'm just after consoling a friend who got turned down by someone he really likes and now feels like no one will ever fancy him. I talked to him and reminded him of all his attractive points and so on, and told him that he will someday he will meet someone nice.

All this has got me thinking, though. You always here people say, 'plenty more fish in the sea', 'You'll find someone eventually', etc etc, but how true is it? I mean, is there really that special someone waiting out there somewhere for everyone? Is it just a matter of time until we find them/they find us? Or this just one of those unfortunate things we believe to try and keep ourselves hopeful when feeling lonely?

I really do think there is someone out there for everyone. In fact, I think there are multiple ideal partners out there! It just takes time before you find them

I know I'm a bit sappy and romantic at times, but... I really think that there's someone out there for everyone - true love, if you will. It's such a nice thought, if you ask me, that somewhere in the vastness of this planet is someone who's meant for you, someone who you're supposed to find and with whom, when you do find 'em, you'll fall in love with. Somehow, this idea of compatibility takes all the romance and the uniqueness out of the whole dating thing...

So yes, I do like to believe in the idea of soulmates. =)

No.

God, we're a romantic bunch, aren't we? </sarcasm>

I think it's a matter of chance and/or luck. I think being gay and being single in Ireland is a hard thing.

yeah i think there is.. but you won't find it sitting at home waiting you have to put yourself out there and be willing to take the knock backs and rejections...

there are very, very few people who can brush off rejection of any form--its a normal reaction to get a bit bummed out, especially if you had a big crush. your friend needs a bit of time, but moreso, he needs to go out, and kiss someone. No, you shouldn't base your self confidence on your pulling ability, but very rarely does it not make someone feel even marginally better.

i would like to believe that there is someone out there for everyone. maybe thats true, maybe not. you have to have faith, i suppose, and i'd rather be a hopeless romantic than consider a bleaker outlook.

i agree with what curley said, about multiple 'someones'. you aren't the same person you were 10 years ago, 5 years ago, 2 years ago, 1 year ago (hopefully). people change and grow.

consider someone who has been in a relationship for a year. love, as i understand it, is meant to change, and grow, and develop and mature as the two individuals themselves go through those motions. but sometimes, people also do grow apart. it doesn't mean that they've lost their someone, it just means that, the person that they were had someone, and the person they are becoming will find someone more suitable.

if i was with someone, and i met some unfortunate end, i would want them to move on and find love eventually. so i suppose in that scenario, 'fate' would have several...backups, in store.

the real question, i suppose, is how do we know when we've found 'that someone'. in the words of Mean Girls, "You might think that you really like someone, but, you could be wrong". i think the saying is true, you can't go looking for love. it will find you.

and as a very good friend pointed out to me yesterday, there's a lot more gays out there than just on the scene

It is interesting to note that the more detailed comments are coming from the yes camp.

I agree with what Cinead said about people - and relationships - changing. It's all part of life in the end as people grow closer or further apart. Which fits in with Curley's comment.

@ Ros_boi: Rejection after rejection can easily wear people down though, so I can understand why a person might not want to leave their room, though you are right. You have to put yourself out there. If you're not in you cant win... But does that still guarantee finding someone...?

right, we're put onto this planet alone, and we die alone. in the last second of our consciousness, when we've lost all of our senses, its just our own minds that we have. we are alone.

this emphasis on 'having to find your someone' is from a whole load of propaganda and american films, hallmark, and christianity's need for breeding.

people used to have arranged marraiges. kings and sheiks would often have multiple wives. this whole 'got to find your one person' thing is a human construct (like money, and see how well thats done for us...).

your 'someone' mightn't be a lover. it might just be a friend. i can deal with being single, but i know i'd be miserable if i didn't have the GREAT friends i have surrounded myself with.

re: rejection. yea, it sucks. i'm very sensitive to it, myself, but it doesn't mean anything is wrong with you. "rejection is god's protection" is something i once heard, and it makes a lot of sense to me...it wasn't right. you may have wished it was, but ultimately it saves you pain later on.

Totally believe in this.

Agree with others though that at different points in our lives we can find ourselves attracted / attractive to others.

I think the whole notion of dating has gone out the window too and people brush of people too easy, afraid they are settling for second best.

I think people continually raise their expectations to "somebody" who in the real world doesn't exist.

In the words of Terry Pratchett, "True love does exist, your perfect partner may be a 12 year old goat herder from Nepal that you will never meet, but true love is out there."

pfft...sure what do you know, you're a dub i still do the whole dating thing...i prefer going on 'dates'. i realise its the yankee in me, but its...i dunno...romantical, like courtship or something lol

agree with ya handsy, about the expectations. putting someone on a pillar is never a good thing, for you or them.

That's a great quote. I'm stealing it

Cinead - thank you for going to the trouble of arguing both sides

its just the voices in my head are very passionate, but rarely agree

i do think that there is somebody out there for everybody,maybe even a number of people actually!take for instance ..i was in a relationship with a guy for a number of months this year,anyway in the end it didnt work out and things were getting bad so we both decided to end things.pretty much a week after and bear in mind i wasnt looking to meet anybody i met someone and we got on amazingly and he treated me unbelievably well.thing was given the fact that it was so soon after the previous relationship i felt that i wasnt being fair on the new guy as i was still processing the break up from the previous relationship.So anyway i explained this to him and we broke up but we've remained great friends and i'll never forget him.so yeah absolutely there ,i think,there is not only one person out there for everyone but a number of people.
tell your friend to keep his head held high,rejection is terrible but it does make you stronger and he will meet somebody.

LOL Sounds like something Cathal O Sharkey would try to swing....LOL I can see the "documentary" now!

As a Transexual my chances are more limited than most, or so I used to think, or was led to believe! However, I have found that partners and friends can arise in the most unlikely circumstances!

My motto now is 'Always take a Chance'
Do not walk away from a chance encounter with someone! - Always quickly re-consider and turn round and continue and enhance that first meeting, String out that - 'How are you today' conversation, smile back at the smile you encounter, meet a friendly person eye to eye.

It worked for me!

Someone special? - Yes, of course they exist, by Luck, Chance and Endeavour! you will find![@};-]

Teri_Rose

In my opinion I dont think there is someone out there for everyone. Over the years I have put up many barriers and cried enough times to hand my heart out to anyone. My friends are always trying to set me up or saying that I should chat people up, but I cant. Its not that Im afraid to (Ill talk to the wall) its just once bitten twice shy. Dublin itself is also a very hard place to meet anyone I feel. Majority of my friends are single and I dont see that many couples anymore out.

Ive just read back over that last paragraph and god its so negative but unfortunately thats how I feel.

There are some people who are born to be loved, others stand by the side and wish them the best of luck.