Ok Ok before i start I just want to point out that I am not giving out about the people in cork its just that I am trying to understand how you people tick.... Ok the back story is that I went to college in Cork..It was a great city to go to college, brilliant students, lots to do etc. You have some off the best "straight" pubs in the whole country (I have lived everywhere and sampled a lot of pubs!) and some of the nicest, most down to earth people ever created but when it comes to the gay community it gets wierd.. right this is my main problem with the gay nightclubs and pubs is that nobody talks to anyone else...really its seems to me like everyone is in groups and stick to themselves..feel free to disagree. I dont think I have every had a good night out on the gay scene...I am wondering is it just me...or I standoffish or what. Is it because I am not good looking to cork people, or do I look like the most boring person alive...In fairness when I would go out in the gay scene in Cork I wouldn't talk to much to other people because I wouldn't get that "feeling"..you know like when you just know someone wants to talk...I hope that makes sense..I have traveled all round the world and in every single gay club/pub I would go in and within a couple of minutes you would be chatting away and having a laugh..it even happens in Dublin and Galway so I dont think it is and Irish thing, just a Cork thing. I would just like to know am I mad in the head? I have made some incredible friends in Cork over the years(95% straight unfortunitly) and i use to love the place but now i feel my time there is over... I would love people to say its all in my head and give Cork another go etc but I dont think it will work....Like can the rest of you see what I mean and are you sick of it too???
Nope, its not all in your head, would be delightful if it was lol See a lot of gays are afraid to talk or make some contact through years of isolation at work, school or with family, in a nut shell. However the "clicks" or groups are often the backwards queens, twinks and queers who think there "It", there the ones who usually have a lack of something up their arse, aren't over themselves, or feel they have to act in a certain way to fit in with a group. I'd happily call this a phase as everyone needs to find themselves so will go through many types of clicks or groups, tis a bit sad though to see that the twinks (with their arms folded, and moody atmosphere) and queens aren't still quite there, meh to them [=;] Here's something to cheer you up if you up http://www.gaycork.com/forum/blog.php?b=256 its one of my blog enteries on this "click" group thing Dont worry pet there a minority, not the majority.
Ok fruit...thanks for that pet. By the way...when writing (grammatically) "2" and "3" should be "two" and "three", "instinct" is with a capital "I" and "anyways" is not a word. Not being a critic or anything, but I'm sure you made plenty of typos as well in this forum
I'm getting out of Cork as soon as is feasible. I think that answers your question. But seriously, everyone here on GC knows my feelings about the 'scene' in Cork, but, having said that there are some really nice (gay) guys in Cork and I have made some great friends so I suppose there's a quality as opposed to quantity issue. I was in The George last week (Dublin) and it was wall-to-wall gay men and I loved it and the GCN 21st Party was pretty much dominated by gay guys and I loved that. It's just my 'thang' I like hanging out with gay guys but here in Cork there seems to be a lot of cliques that it's very hard to break into and then there's the 'gay-lite' brigade. Don't get me started. Moral of the story? IMO if you want one or two quality gay friends there's some great gay guys here in Cork but if you want a heaving mass of gay guys bumping and grinding on a pulsating dance floor and going wild? Time to pack your bags.
Does anyone remember the days of the cork gay clique, "The Family"? I dunno, I went out on Friday with Ros_boi and Cinaed and after then meeting up with a host of other couples (on Valentine's night with my boyfriend in work) which overloaded my cutesy poo tolerance and I wandered around and talked to loads of people. Twas great fun!
the best way i can describe my experience with the Cork scene is the film Mean Girls (yea, i know, shaddap! ) when I first came to Cork, I knew no one...The Other Place was still open, Boo/Taboo/Flirt was around, and Instinct was next to the Oyster sigh. I found myself in one 'clique' straight away, but also made lots of friends with the LGBT. The first 'clique' wasn't really a group of my friends though...i 'dated' my way into the group ended up ostracized from them when i ended the relationship (and haaaated +saidin+, among others!). much bitchiness and drama ensued. fortunately, crazymonkey and another friend I had made were really great, and I found myself in a new...well, not really a clique, but with good friends to head out with. Many, many return visits to cork later, I've found myself not caring about 'the cliques'. I try to talk to everyone and anyone. Some people I never thought I'd be friends with are really good friends of mine now. I think that some people need to grow out of the clique mentality--although, for a period of time, it can be useful in that you feel safer in a group! I can speak for myself also in that I'm really shy around new people...I won't introduce myself until I absolutely have to, and I never approach people. I don't mean to be rude, I'm actually just very shy with new people (but when you know me I don't shut up!). another problem though is the 'mob' mentality of being out at a club. was at ruby's (Sober) last night, and everyone is kinda...ahm...well their senses are 'fuzzy' so they don't see individual people, they just 'see the music' lol. if you were to go to Loafers or Flux, or even Instinct on a Friday, you'd be more likely to meet someone and have a chat. good luck [@};-]
Well said Cinaed It really depends on venue, if you want to see more inclusion and convo go to a more relaxed venue like Loafers, flux, chambers, and instinct (on a thur I find) just before ten Rubys, freakscene and sinners gay night are very much dance orientated (and so are the rest above over the weekend) so this might make people a little bit intimidated when theres a huge huge huge crowd. Saying that you can still make friends at any of the nights above, personally i like quite nights out, like mon or tue at loafers or any other cosy place
Speaking as a relative newcomer I would kinda agree but there's still exceptions - the smoking areas especially provide a place to have a bit of a chat with friends or randoms or whatever, and Instinct and Sinners have very little dancing early on... But yea, I went to Ruby's sober on one occasion and the experience was... odd. Although going to any club sober, gay or straight, tends to be a weird experience.
Some people just like sticking to the group of friends they went out with, and chatting to friends they see out, personally i'm not really into meeting new people when i'm out and drunk(no need for people to judge me based on that) but i'm always friendly to everyone and consider myself pretty approachable.
My favourite part about going out - and to an extent what quantifies as a good night for me - is meeting new people. I love the organic way in which a common interest or coincidental meeting brings people together. That said I get messy when drunk and end up screaming "be my friend" at people. Whoops.
I'm always making new friends when I go out. That could be because I like cornering people for chats though
Hi Championcloud, first of all welcome to Gay Cork. Sorry to hear about your bad experience on the scene. I'm sure every Cork gay would tell you the same story.How long have you being in Cork? Cork is full of 'groups' or 'clicks' or 'cliques' whatever you want to call them. Unfortunately that happens in all walks of life but more so on the scene here as it is quiet small. These groups come and go and float in and out of the scene I wouldnt take any of them too seriously. I can honestly say that after about 16 years around the 'scene' here in Cork that some of the nicest guys I have ever met are on this forum. You should try and come along to our next 'meet up' on Friday 13th of March
omg that is soooooo true.when u go ne where in the gay scene in cork, u either get the "who the fuck does he think he is" look from the hardcore scene people or the "i would defenatly pay him for sex" look from some older guys!!its terrable!!i only go there with my lesbians when wer really drunk and feel like goen a bit mad!i think its a way more "bitcher" between gay men for some reason,maby its because im a man???i dono!ur not alone!!!
Well is true that there are cliques etc in the gay scene, much the same as it is ALL OVER THE WORLD. Cork is a small community, 1/5th the size of Dublin which a lot of people don't seem to realise.
Cork is also a cliquish county apparently, my mom who isn't from here was giving out about when she first came to cork she realised how cliquish and unfriendly we are...wierd! She also pointed out our inability to queue....
thanks for all your comments... "the gay scene in cork, u either get the "who the fuck does he think he is" look from the hardcore scene people or the "i would defenatly pay him for sex" look from some older guys!!its terrable!!i only go there with my lesbians when wer really drunk and feel like goen a bit mad!i think its a way more "bitcher" between gay men for some reason,maby its because im a man???i dono!ur not alone!!!" never a truer word(s) said....thanks for all your comments! I actually tried to put up a similar post last year but it never loaded so I didnt think this post would load so happy days... I have to say you all seem pretty decent.. And surprising you all feel the same...so whats keeping you in Cork.. The reason why I hang around in Cork is my straight friends and my very few non scene gay friends...They are pretty cool and unique so that is my tie to Cork..but things are changing with them soon so the whole dynamic of our group will change...such is life.. Your group meet up sounds cool but I never was into the idea you should need to meet like minded people in groups because there is no alternative..maybe I'm wrong but it feel like your excluding your true self by doing that?? This is why i always shied away from not only gay groups but pretty much all groups (art groups, sport groups etc).... I'd say I'm too idealist with my view on gay friendships/relationships... one off my many problems hmm that smiley face doesnt really work there... What I think is gay people shouldnt be excluding themselves with gay groups, gay pubs, gay gay gay...why dont we all hook up, kiss, make friends in regular place, break down the stereotypes. It just seems like most the guys in cork and in fairness in a lot off other places but not in the same amount, are lacking in something..you know like that they are not happy in some way. Major chips on shoulders... Not all the people you know... like I have never seen any fights in any other pubs/clubs (gay that is) only in Cork places...then you hear about people getting glassed etc...one time in a gay pub in Cork a whole group of gay men were being horrible, and I mean horrible to a guy who was on his own and was crying and it was like 6 to 1 and nobody showed any sympathy and when I asked them to leave him alone I was nearly glassed....what the hell! Like even if that one guy had murdered someone he didnt deserve that treatment.... Sorry if I am whinging alot (I know I am!) but I just want to get it off my chest... I'm from up the Country and I think Cork could be a beacon of hope and normality for gay people outside the second capital(dublin) but it seems like you dont want it.... You have the most amazing scenery, some amazing facilities, great food places etc so why arent the majority of gay people happy out? I am pretty much a relationship person and I'd love just to go out and chat like normal people and see how you get on without having to resort to Gaydar or whatever.. I joined that once to see that just maybe I could meet someone halfway normal but alas no joy...it was all nakedness and seedyness... Do straight people do that too? Maybe they do...I'd say i am pretty naive... Like gay people just seem to be obsessed with being gay... Its gay jokes, gay pubs, gay clothes, men, men , men, gay, men, sex, gay, meanness to other gays, men etc.... Sorry to be limiting this to gay men but I only know a few gay women but they are definitly not obsessed with there sexuality. the couple I know are in relationships and have interests outside being gay... to be honest I dont even see them as being "Gay" because it is such a non issue... wierd... I am stuck living in Ireland for another year probably but then I am looking forward to heading off to different places where being Gay can be a non issue again.. It was so nice going on dates in places like Sydney or London where you forget that your gay and dating a man and instead you can just have a laugh with the "person" and see how you get on..... So sorry for moaning.... I actually am the happiest person going but have a chip on my shoulder with cork...I love it and hate it... mostly love it tho.... [:-|]
Have you tried talking to people on the scene? I get what you're saying but alot of the time people just want to go out with their friends. And just cos some guys look like they are full of it....they can't help it if everybody likes them!? (my last line was provoked by my new avatar, I had no power to resist it)
